Change is a constant in life. It is the one thing we can be sure of, the one thing we can count on. We can be sure that things will change and we will evolve. If this is the one thing we can count on as an absolute in life, then why do we come up against such resistance to change?
As humans, we like to attach ourselves to things – to feel safe, to create a sense of Self, to give some meaning to who and what we are here for. Things, places and people can help us feel comfortable and safe. We need some sense of familiar. Especially if we have any unsecure attachments styles, which most of us do. There’s also nothing wrong with needing familiarity and consistency. We all have a need to feel safe.
The resistance to the change that is being asked of us seems so daunting so we find ourselves pushing against it like we are trying to move a brick wall. But the brick wall is closing in on us and we find ourselves with less and less wiggle room the harder we resist our friend change. It is uncomfortable and we like comfort, but if we are here to grow then we must become friends with discomfort. This discomfort is in letting the old version of who you were go, and welcoming in the new one. The discomfort is here to prepare you for the new person you are becoming. The One you are meant to become. Trust who you are becoming.
Everything you know about yourself, or everything you have decided you know about yourself is adaptable. Most of the beliefs we have about who we are, or who our ego believes we are is just a set of ideas we have made up to attach ourselves to. Think about it, people can say that they are “who they are” and that is just who they are. But the only reason they won’t evolve or change is because they are scared to. You can attach yourself to pretty much anything, a way of dressing, eating, living. All of that is some idea that you’ve come up with about yourself and who you are or who you have to be. You have the ability to change anything once you decide that you have a new standard for yourself.
Who you are at your core is so much more than any material thing, any way of eating, any way speaking or behaving. You are a beautiful being of pure Love. Somewhere along the way your heart was broken, and probably broken again. Tiny love cracks get in. They change us and the way we see the world. But we don’t have to live by those old stories. We can set a new standard. Once we attach ourselves to a new way of being in this world, we will naturally do everything in our power to prove that standard and live by it. We will look for any means we can to confirm our new standard for ourselves.
Think of any major life change you have successfully made. It was probably because you set a new standard for yourself and became unable to accept any less for yourself. You evolved and attached to that new version of yourself.
We are always evolving, we are not ever just “who we are” nor are we ever stuck in any one pattern or behaviour. But it is a choice and the choice is not a simple one. It is a deep knowing, a GUT knowing. That something bigger is being asked of us. Something stronger burns within you for more. And when we listen to that burning inside there is no telling exactly how great the gifts ahead of us are.
Once we decide and stand by our new vision for ourself, not much can get in our way because we will always find our way back to that truth. The Universe will always be guiding us back to our truth…and if we don’t listen we will only hurt more. The denial will become harder and more painful. Listen for your truth. Get really quiet and listen. The journey won’t be easy. Listening and deciding is only the very beginning. Small or sometimes really huge steps of action are required. Saying no to what longer serves. Saying yes to new and uncomfortable things that we know will benefit us in the long run. Letting go of whatever “idea” we had about ourselves and who we were up until this point. An action, a habit or a behaviour doesn’t define you. But it does tell a story about where you’re at. So let that story be a fucking incredible one.
Choose habits that are Soul-serving, not Soul-numbing. We spend too much of this life distracted from our truth. Distracted from nature, from real beauty. Trying to escape our inner world. Too much time running from the fountain of tears that beg to be cried. Stop running. Be still and cry. Feel it all. You’ll survive it. You already have.
Facing Yourself 