I used to numb myself with someone new
With alchohol, or food
Whatever came within my reach
All I needed was something to latch onto
*
Something to take me away from the pain
Of missing you
Now all I have is myself
my thoughts my body
my nerves and anxiety
this buzzing this unsettling
*
the reality of you being gone
felt like too much to bear
thought I would not survive it
without someone else there
*
to make me feel whole
worthy
human
still alive and still someone important
in this mess
*
now I no longer know how you spend your days
your nights
I don’t know how you slept
when you woke
what goals and dreams you are working on
what new dreams are coming to life
*
all I have is me
and my fur baby
and that’s enough
because the pain will pass
is already settling
*
I have myself now
and time
to realize my goals, my dreams
to be present for my reality
to be here for my life
*
my life doesn’t need you to survive
it needs me to thrive
Facing Yourself 