Moving on…

I used to numb myself with someone new

With alchohol, or food

Whatever came within my reach

All I needed was something to latch onto

*

Something to take me away from the pain

Of missing you

Now all I have is myself

my thoughts my body

my nerves and anxiety

this buzzing this unsettling

*

the reality of you being gone

felt like too much to bear

thought I would not survive it

without someone else there

*

to make me feel whole

worthy

human

still alive and still someone important

in this mess

*

now I no longer know how you spend your days

your nights

I don’t know how you slept

when you woke

what goals and dreams you are working on

what new dreams are coming to life

*

all I have is me

and my fur baby

and that’s enough

because the pain will pass

is already settling

*

I have myself now

and time

to realize my goals, my dreams

to be present for my reality

to be here for my life

*

my life doesn’t need you to survive

it needs me to thrive


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