Freedom, Security and Emotional Exhaustion

We all want to feel free. What does freedom feel like? It feels like we can be our full, authentic true selves. We are wholeheartedly accepted for who we are and what we have to offer this world. We feel free from judgement, criticism and shame. We feel unconditionally loved. We crave this feeling at the core of our being.

Freedom feels big and vast and spacious. It can even feel scary. We may not even know what to do with it. Part of the reason it feels scary is because we are afraid of our own power. We are afraid of the true potential of who we really are and everything that we can bring to the world. Our gifts are boundless and our capacity to Love is greater than we know. Our ability to feel is stronger than we allow ourselves to acknowledge.

We have been trained and taught how to shut our feelings down. How to avoid, how to constantly carry on and carry through. How would it be if we allowed ourselves to feel the uncomfortable things? If we let ourselves shift gears – into a slower way of being? If we didn’t consistently push and rush and expect things to happen instantly? What would change within us if we allowed ourselves to experience the full cycle of our emotions?

Emotions, or feelings, are literally always “in-motion”. Nothing you feel right now will last forever. Not the good or the bad. Things will evolve. Things will change. If this year has taught me anything it is that change has to be expected. We have to learn to dance with the change.

Individually and collectively there are so many of us that feel burnt out from this year. Emotional exhaustion is a clear symptom of burnout and it can happen when there isn’t enough time and space to complete the cycle of an emotion. Not surprising since most of us are way busier than our bodies want to be. Our body is the space-holder for all emotions. They live and are stored inside us. We must give ourselves a safe container to process our emotions fully. This happens in time as the body feels ready and safe to do so.

Just as much as we crave freedom, we crave security. We need to know we are loved. We need to know we are cared for. These are not superficial needs – they are very real human needs – as much as we need food and water. We need to know someone values and sees us. We want to be seen for who we are at a Soul-level. We want the validation that we are inherently GOOD. That we matter. That we are doing an amazing job – that the work we do and the effort we put in matters. We want to feel appreciated.

How can we feel both free and secure in relationship? This seems to be the struggle in almost every relationship. Two people with different backgrounds, experiences, ways of thinking, and ways of coping. How can both people feel free to be authentically who they are and also feel safe and secure within the relationship? This I feel is a lifelong learning. One that requires a great deal of patience, learning, vulnerability, compassion, empathy and our own inner work.

For myself, I know that when I start to feel burnt out or emotionally exhausted, I need to tend to my needs. I need to slow down. Have a bath. Get a massage. Read a book. Journal, meditate, give myself time and space to feel. Sometimes I need to cry, sometimes I need to watch a funny movie. Cook myself a good meal. Spend time in nature. Connect with loved ones. Sometimes talking isn’t even necessary but just knowing someone is there for you can make a world of difference. Sometimes there is comfort in silence. Petting and playing with my puppy helps me feel grounded and connected to another being. It takes me out of my head and my spinning thoughts.

This year has been a huge learning, a process of adapting to new situations and circumstances. A process of letting go and opening up. A process of losing myself and finding myself over and over again. A process of understanding my own wounds, my own triggers, my own hurt. Understanding how big my heart is. How deeply I am able to love and how much I crave love and acceptance.

These are far from easy times for any of us. Let’s not forget that the state of the world affects us as well. This year demanded more than we were prepared for. The growth was extremely uncomfortable. Still – there is beauty to be found in it all. We are being asked to open ourselves in ways that are difficult for us. We are being asked to take stock of what is truly important in our lives. What are the relationships, the people that matter to us? Let us remind ourselves to be kinder than we have been because those around us are suffering in their own way – even if we don’t understand it.

What is our important work in this world and why do we do it? How do we help others and what does it fulfill inside us?

I am challenging myself, as we move towards 2021 to show up with more kindness, more compassion and more understanding than I have ever shown before. Because the planet needs it right now. People need it right now. And I need it too. The healing that needs to happen in the world starts as an inside job.

Much Love,

Raina Aurora xo